Shukraana

Wo mere andar udd raha hai Umeed se bhare pankh Halke lag rahe hain Kacchi raahon ke iraade bhi Pakke lag rahe hain Magar kuchh nahin hai abhi Phadphadana, phusphusaana Afra tafri nahin hai abhi Aur aasmaan ka rang badal gaya hai Sab itna saaf kaise hai abhi? Wo to mujhe lekar udd raha hai abhi 11 December 2008

Ya to mujhe auron sa banaa Ya duniya ko mujh sa kar de Ya duniya bhar ko aaram dila Ya mere dil mein kohraam bhar de 24 November 2008

--> --> --> Ek arse se deed nahin hui teri  Ghar pe magar aaina sajaa rakkha hai Ke tujhse mulaqaat to jaane kab hogi Lekin kya jaane, Tujhe dhoondte meri khud se mulaqaat ho jaaye 24 November 2008

Aaj mere khayaalon ka shor itna barpa hai Ke tujh tak meri awaaz nahin pahunchti Aaj mere dil mein darr itna hai Ki mujh tak teri khudaai nahin pahunchti Koi zor ki hook aate aate dab jaati hai Aur ek saans mere andar nahin pahunchti Hawa kaali si – andhera ghir jaata hai Allah teri roshni bhi mujh tak nahin pahunchti Darwaaze pe waqt ka deemak chadaa hai Mere tode toot taa nahin Wahaan tu haath pasaare khada hai Yahaan kadam uthaye uthhta nahin Ek pal, bas ek pal, Ek pal ye shor-o-sannatta chup ho jaata To mujhe kisi harkat ka yakeen to aata Ki meri apni aahat mujh tak to pahunchti

Dosti dhoop si, kaheen bhi chamakti hai Dosti baarish si, kisiko bhigo sakti hai Koodti phirti rehti hai dosti Kabhi dilon ke beech aati hai dosti Ek anjaana sa karwaan hai Idhar, udhar, ruk jaati hai jahaan hai Kabhi phir pet gudgudaati hai Pairon mey bhinbhinaati hai Aankhon mey phadphadaati hai Kaanon mey jhanjhanaati hai Par dosti hamari hai Humse pyaar karti hai Hamare dil mey rehti hai Ajnabi ko yaar karti hai Dosti dhoop si, kaheen bhi chamakti hai Dosti baarish si, kisiko bhigo sakti hai

Kuchh bhi pehle saa nahin Tu jo zindagi mey aa rahi Ek dhadkan meri zyada hai Ek din kam hai, aadha hai Main to apna sa bhi raha nahin

Kabhi khelte-khelte na jaane kya sach ho jaata hai… Tab kaheen dil ko mohabbat pe yakeen aata hai Yun to pehle se dil ko mohabbat ki aadat nahin Kisi ke aane se magar, dil ye badal saa jaata hai Tab kaheen dil ko mohabbat pe yakeen aata hai Dil karta hai usko apna sab de dein Par apna kya dein use, jab wo hi apna ho jaata hai Tab kaheen dil ko mohabbat pe yakeen aata hai Darr rehta to hai kuchh dil mein, thoda yakeen bhi Par jab wo darr dil se khaali ho jaata hai Tab kaheen dil ko mohabbat pe yakeen aata hai Bekaraar rehta hai jo dil hamesha Jab wo theher ke, kisi ka intezaar kar jaata hai Tab kaheen dil ko mohabbat pe yakeen aata hai Ek khayal mera hai, mera hi rehta hai Lekin jab wo khayal tera bhi ho jaata hai Tab kaheen dil ko mohabbat pe yakeen aata hai Tab kaheen dil ko mohabbat pe yakeen aata hai

Tere paas hoke, tere paas na hona Achha nahin lagta Tera ek baar hoke, tera phir na hona Achha nahin lagta Mujhpe itna bharosa thha tujhe Tera mujhse yun umeed chhodna Achha nahin lagta Hum saath chal rahe thhe na? Phir tera mujhe akela chhodna Achha nahin lagta Tere paas hoke, tere paas na hona Achha nahin lagta

Dastbardaari ka ilzaam hai sar pe Sazaa bhi sakht sunai jaayegi Aaj saji duniya ke aage Meri khaali tasveer utaari jaayegi Wo kaise bhatakta hua mila thha Hosh kho diya thha masoom ne Poochha to mera pata bataya Lo! phir aa gaya mere saamne Himmat nahin hai ki use dekhun Nazron mey nazron dale Kisi apne ko dastbardaar kiya ho To wo kaise mujhe apna le? Par saamne samaeen main baithe Bahein khuli hain uski Be- khauf wo mujhe dekh raha hai Umeed baaki hai uski Nahin, nahin, nahin Nahin dena hai koi jawaab mujhe Kisi jurm-e-wakeel ko Nahin uchhaalni hai phir apni rooh Bacha hi kya hai uchhaalne ko Bas rehmat de ab, use faraar karoon Main apne aashiyaane le jaoon Main apni kamzori ka ghulam na rahoon Main apna mujrim na ban jaoon 14 th July 2008

Sanam na chaahe magar, mohabbat to karega deewana Wo kaafir sahi, ya phir use ilm nahin Fakat uski ek nazar se, mere samaeen Tamaam ho jayega paagal, par zinda rahega uska shukraana 9th July 2008

Main khoobsoorat hoon, mohabbat hoon main Tu jaisa kahe wo sachhai hoon Koi manfiyat mujhe chooegi kaise Ke main tujhko chhoo kar aai hoon 4 th July 2008

Umeed-e- mukammal zoron par hai Qalb -e-aawaz had -e-shoron par hai Har haasil mumkin hai ab se Ki khuda-e- rahman mera, mere dar par hai 3rd July 2008

Muaafi de maula, mujhe muaafi de Mera ahem choor kar, mujhe muaafi de Main to hoon tera aam sa banda Itna ahem mujhme aaye kyun Jinse mohabbat hai mere dil ko itni Unhe mera dil sataye kyun Ye sawaal-o-sakht, ye shuba har waqt Is gard se mujhe rihaai de Paak kar de mera rooh -e-aaina Meri rooh mujhe zaahir dikhai de Muaafi de maula, mujhe muaafi de Aankhon mein tu hi dikhai de Muaafi de maula, mujhe muaafi de Meri muaafi ki bas duhaai de 2nd July 2008

Ek arse se arsa kam na hoga Ek arsa mujhe bhi de de Talab hai tere ishqa ki itni Ek ishqa mujhe bhi de de Maana noor-e-pal se tujhe shikayat nahin Tu to har lamha chal rahi hai Tamanna-o-zindagi khush hai teri Ishq-e-shama bhi jal rahi hai Tu nahin jaanegi abhi Ki inteha kya hai teri Nahin samjhegi jaan meri Falak kahaan hai teri Gumaan hoga, shuba hoga Zaahir hai, sawaal bhi kahin chupa hoga Itemaad na ho, na sahi Tera ek itemaad bas de de Teri khaatir na sahi Tujhe meri khaatir de de 1st July 2008

Ek lamha milne ko kam bhi na hota Na milte to shaayad gham bhi na hota Tera ilm na hota, gar raah mein guzarte Kabhi tu mera jaan-e-sanam bhi na hota Jaan mehfooz hoti, ishq bhi ho jaata Magar ishq-e-khudai mein woh dum bhi na hota Chhipi hogi kaheen talab teri koi Kabhi to jaan-o-dil tarsa hai aise Toot ke dil ne tamanna ki hogi Tabhi to toot ke barsa hai aise Toot gayi main, deewani hui Is aabshaar mein bheegi, toofani hui Abhr se tera rukh jo jhaanka Tere chehre pe main roohani hui Naseeba hai mera, ye mulaqaat teri Tere naam se hi ab hai aukaat meri Palak moond li hai, tu raat meri Tujhse hai savera-o- bisaat meri Le chale jahaan, wo baat teri Tanhai teri, jamaat teri Tera naam hi hai ek saugaat meri Tere naam se hi ab aukaat meri Tere naam se hi ab aukaat meri 1st July 2008

Is kadar, diwaan-e-aam mein badnaam na karo jaan Kucch izzat yahaan humaari bhi hai Kucch apni jaan humein pyaari bhi hai Ishaaron se bhi ishq bayaan hote hain Nazron ke bhi teer-kamaan hote hain Ye parde agar pad lo, ye izhaar agar sun lo To wo bhi mohabbat-e-shaan hote hain Inayat karo jaan pe apni, Kucch to socho hum kya kahenge Tumhaari ada-e-deewaangi ke peeche Jawaab-e-jaan kya denge Ki “Arre Naaz, bataya nahin kabhi, ek mohabbat tumhaari bhi hai?” 14 th Feb 2008

Wo mujhse khafa kyun rehta hai Ab mujhe bura kyun kehta hai Ki meri talab uske jaisi nahin Koi fitrat bhi usse milti nahin Lekin hum to kabhi ek se nahin thhe Dekh lo, soorat bhi hamari milti nahin 16 th December 2007

Shayad aaj raqs-e-bismil na ho Ya gham mey dooba dil na ho Shor-e-hungama se bechain nahi Par kisi goshe mey aaram na ho Na naraazgi ho kisi mehboob se Aur har-inteha ishq bhi na ho Ek ye bhi taqreeb manayein yaaron Jahaan koi jashn-e-khaas na ho Ek ye bhi jazbaat mehsoos ho yaaron Ke jiska koi ehsaas na ho 29 th November 2007

Fir tere zikr ne mujhe parishaan kiya Fir unhi be-dil sawalon ne hairaan kiya Fir poocha ki tujhe gham na hua? Tune kaise dil-e-naadan kiya? “Saanson ke bina jee liya tu Badi daleri ka kaam kiya" Taqreeb -o-jashn pe bulakar, Poocha kya guzri dil par? “Hum toot jaate, jaan se door na reh paate " --- Jaan, main door nahin - ye sochta nahin koi Saansein jaa rahi hai - ye dekhta nahin koi --- Ab kya kahoon use, ki tere sawaal na kare? Maine hi jab khud ko tera aaina, jaan, kiya 25 th November 2007

Dil diya, dard diya, yaar tera shukriya Ik adhura sarmakar , ik aur adhura bana diya Yaar tera shukriya Par aisa nahin jaan, ki main tere dard se khafa hoon Ye na khayal bana, ki main dilbar se bewafa hoon Wo kahaa hai na, mohabbat mein ek parishaan dard bhi shaamil hai Jaan, us dard se mohabbat bhi, mohabbat ka haasil hai 18th November 2007

Ye kya kho diya hai tujhe paakar meri jaan Kya reh gaya peechhe tere paas aakar meri jaan Bahut mohabbat hai tujhse Par ek umeed aur baaki hai Ek rubaai , ek ashaar Meri daastaan abhi aur baaki hai 10 th Nov 2007

Ek sawaal poochna thha tumse Dekho gar jawaab zehn mey aaye Mujhe kya haque hai koi Ke jab dil ka sarmaya mujhe mil jaaye Phir bhi kaheen ek baat ka sukoon na aaye Kisi nayi firaaq mey dil bhatkaaye Ek baar poocha thha to kahaa beinsaafi hai ye Ke khud dil ki dua, ab dil ko sataye! Ab chup hoon main, soch raha hoon Kya haque hai koi, ki dil ki baat ab dil ko bataye? 10 th Nov 2007

Jhoot hai tu Teri kayenat Himmat teri, umeed teri, aadat teri, jurrat teri Jhoot hai Bas hawa ki ada hai Phir ruk kar maine kaha Ho sakta hai jhoot saara Mere khwaabon ka aasma Meri ummeed ka sitara Main jhoot hoon Tu sach hai Magar sach, ruk ja waheen Saath chalein, tu mere jhoot se bada to nahin 26 th Oct 2007

Ye kaisa zulm hai allah, bande pe tere? Tune kahaa dil paak kar aa Tab se har shay koshish karta hoon Shaffaaf banne ki Har shab mehnat karta hoon Kisi haasil ki ummeed se Ek ek kar taanaa bunta hoon Apni chaadar safed karne ko Phir kaheen dil ko sukoon aata hai Shayad ab kuchh aaram kar loon Tab talash kar tujhe Thoda rehem maangta hoon Par tu to sochta bhi nahin, kya guzregi muhjpar Bas ghoomke kehta hai Abhi baaki hai kuch kahin, tujh mein abhi bhi kuchh khalaa hai --- Tujhse bas itna keh doon mere allah Jaddoh-jehad bahut hai yahaan, aasan nahin hai Ke tera banaya har banda, insaan nahin hai 23 rd Oct 2007

Wo jo ek ped thha na, Mera gehra dost thha Chheen ke lete thhe phal usse Chadke baith jaate thhe gode main Socha nahin dard hota bhi hoga use Mud ke dekha bhi nahin ki moch bhi aai hogi kabhi Ab duur chal gaya hai mera dost Kabhi kabhi sochta hoon Wo dard vasool to nahin kia na usne 12 th Oct 2007

Kyun le jaate ho use mujhse duur? Paas hota to achha hota Phir wohi tehniyaan chadte Phir khelte patli pagdandiyon mey Phir dho lete haath gande paani mey Phir bhaag jaate mandiyon mey Ab to saare ajnabi, saare pare Nayi hari tehni toot gai hai Pakki pagdandi ke paar koi jaanta nahin Paani bhi maila ho gaya hai Aur mandi mey koi pehchaanta nahi Kahaan le jaate ho use, chhupate ho kis tarah se Abhi raah dekhta hai wo, aur abhi bas main laut raha hoon Le gaye, Chheen liya bachpan, Aur abhi bas main laut raha hoon 12 th October 2007

Is khaalipan se chhutkara kaise karoon? Ek band band sa kamra mera Kabhi kabhi akela pad jaata hai Aur paas akar poochhta hai, saath dogi mera? 12th October 2007

Khaali dil ki sadaa, goonjti bahut hai jaana Tere dil se takraake, waapas aati hai jaana Kehti hai tu mera to nahin, magar wahaan ek tukda kiska hai? Dil khaali pada hai jaana, lekin isme wazan kiska hai? 8th October 07

Main thak gaya hoon Mujhe sulaane aa Din bhar bhi jo na kar paaya Wo yaad dilaane aa Kabhi raasta mudta rahaa Kabhi main modta rahaa Koi sira khula vahaan Use yaheen jodta rahaa Ya koi tasveer banai maine Koi kaheen todta rahaa Is udhed-bun mein kabhi aaya chayn Kal ke sapnon main doobi meri rayn Wo rayn rang birangi, kood ti, phaand ti, lapak ti, basanti, thirakti, kabhi na thakti Par main to thak gaya hoon Abhi aankhein moondee to tera sui-dhaaga dikha mujhe Teri wo kameez bhi padi thhi thandi zameen par Ab mera badan udhah gaya hai Use sil jaane aa 2006

Kaun kehta hai ki deewaron ke kaan hote hain? Maine to dekha hai unhe chalte hue Is kone se us kone tak, subah savere, aankh malte hue Jab kharaasha thha unhe bachpan mein ek baar To khoon nikla thha Magar jaane meri marham-patti kyun hui Kabhi chidkar unpar kitaab patki To mujh par waapas de maari Kabhi sar tek kar royi To unhone aansoo bhi pochhe mere Band kamre mein jab unse sawaal poochhe To mann me kuchh zara sa jawaab aaya to thha Is waqt bhi jab main ye peeth tek kar likh rahi hoon Wo peechhe se sahara de rahi hain Jaise vaade ki pakki koi saheli Mere akelepan pe pehra de rahi hai Paas aao to ek baat kahoon, badi pyaari saheli hai meri Par zyada na kahun to achha hai Kaan bade tez hain uske! 2006

Junoon ki sirf ibaadat bhi kam junoon nahin Yaar na aaye jab tak, thoda sukoon sahi Jis waqt use aana hai, wo mohabbat ka zamana hai Ishq, diwangi, be-inteha rawaangi, isse tu mehroom nahi Magar tab tak ae junoon-e-dil, thoda behosh sahi Soya hua, bejosh-o-khamosh sahi 2006

My friend nudged me one day… Look at the girl across the seat Look at what she is doing Look at how she is opening her clothes Look at what she is wearing underneath Look at how she dazzles in them Look at how she tricked her parents Look at how she told such lies Look at how she sneaked out of her home Look at how she has two lives Look at how none of them are true Look at her But don’t look like you are looking at her So saying my friend left Not staring too much at the girl, lest she would feel uncomfortable I knew her plight, poor girl - she has desires too She is not like me She is not free She is bound by her fate She is caught in a vicious circle She can’t escape her truths I looked out of the window and wondered about other things… The girl suddenly came to life and said I know you were talking about me I work for a shopping mall This is my uniform My neighbourhood is a little conservative, you know 20 th Septe

It’s been a week Actually more than a week Actually I don’t know how many weeks I think I will go home Buy myself alu tamatar Take them up to my kitchen Slice my sabzi Dice my pyaaz Bring in the salt Whip them up in sugar… But nothing happens Again… I stay back, and I stay put For another evening For another day Another time The evenings in my life never happen Even the alu tamatar hasn’t happened for so long The elusive alu tamatar Nothing ever happens Am I letting go the evenings of my life? Am I losing count of the weeks in my life? Am I missing out on life? I don’t know. 19 th September 2003

It happens to me when I am half-asleep My sleep people come visiting They think, I will never know They think, I will never imagine And it’s ok I hear them confess Things they should have told me instead But never had the courage to I see them, with half shut eyes Using things I hold dear Playing with them, throwing them around As if they don’t care who they belong to As if I won’t know when I see Maybe I won’t realise Maybe they think I won’t realise But I know you, I know you my sleep people Of who you are when you are with me Of who you can be when you are without I have seen your face, my sleep people Behind the make-up, behind the embrace I have seen your strange face my sleep people And you shall never be mine 2002

I remember home Ma Her chappals They were hers they were mine We wore them together, turn by turn Till those slabs of thin rubber took shape The ups and downs, the myriad contours of our feet… And then I left. Now only ma wears them. Her chappals They seem to have fondly changed shape They have comfortably fitted now, into her feet Because we don’t wear them anymore – only ma does. And sometimes now, when I go back home And sometimes when I wear her chappals, our chappals They don’t feel the same anymore. My feet They don’t feel the same at the heel They should be lower Just beneath the toe it used to be higher. And the rubber straps They don’t hold me so securely no longer They will never feel the same again. That is how they are Chappals They forget Only I remember. Only I know they will never be how they used to be Only I know nothing will ever be how it used to be Nothing, I know, nothing will ever be the same a